here i am ... staying up late again.. 3am.. mindless...

well.. first off.. i have no job.. slowly losing what i got.. so i gotta look again for one now.. which sucks.. hate lookin. but hey need a job to pay bills and all..

as i just sit here listeing to music.. i think about.. what am i suppose to do with my life.. i dont know.. really dont know... the one that i like... is so far.. can't stop thinking about you.... but it seems like your drifting away from my life also.. everything is.. its all a vivid memory now.. nothing i can do.. it really bites..

tomorrow, which is today.. friend's bday.. i guess ill just drink my ass off.. that might help.. but then again dont want to make a fool out of myself.. and for sure i dont want to break down and cry infront of everyone.. but im strong .. ill try my best.. the song.. tamia- smile.. its a good song..

i dont know anymore.. it sucks... blah.. whatever...